5768 Yom Kippur Sermon
My Jewish Spiritual Transformative Journey
by Jessica Cohn, BAJC Member
Two years ago at this time I was in Haifa. We were sitting at the Leo Baeck School looking into a beautiful mixture of city, ocean and sky. We were starving as we had fasted, but that didn’t really matter to us. The fourteen of us were now officially part of a community in Israel. We were the fourteen Carmellos, named so for being part of the Carmel Program of the Reform Movement, from all over the US and Russia, the 30 netzerniks, the Reform Jewish Youth Movement world wide, t from all over the US and Europe, the 100 students and faculty from Leo Baeck School and the 180 members of the Ohel Avraham congregation.
We slept in the synagogue from Kol Nidre till Yom Kippur. No cars, no cell phones, no computers, no lights. Just us and the night sky. I and five friends slept outside in a circle outside the synagogue. The warm air made the night even better. The services the next day were incredible. Fully in Hebrew, everyone was singing, it was an amazing community experience.
But how did I get to Israel, to this beautiful Yom Kippur service? How can someone who failed 8th grade Hebrew school and almost not graduate from high school spend a year abroad in Israel? This is the story of my transformative Jewish spiritual journey.
My bat mitzvah was huge, and I mean huge. One would think that with all the people coming I would want to practice, practice,practice. But, that did not happen. I was attending Jewish summer camp, Camp Young Judaea, and I did not study, my tutor and I rarely met. When it came time for my bat mitzvah I wore ballet slippers to be more stable so I wouldn’t drop the Torah in the procession. That was actually the least of my problems.
My torah portion was the biggest struggle of my life. The cantor must have corrected me on every other word. I remember thinking, “why can’t she just let me get away with it?” When it came time for the Rabbi to give me my silent blessing he actually said he was impressed that I actually completed my portion but he wished I had studied more. Just a note now- to Rabbi Sonsino and Cantor Salzman- I redeemed myself in Israel, I chanted my entire portion perfectly in front of my entire group.
I had attended Hebrew School since first grade. I liked it alright, but not really. But I still went, encouraged and directed by my parents. 8th grade Hebrew school was the problem. That year, we had a teacher, with limited experience, a college student, teaching us Holocaust Studies. Coming from a family of Holocaust survivors and having spent much time studying this period in elementary school, she did not seem to be able to provide more than some basic information and I hated going to her class. It became very frustrating and I became resistant to going, so my family and I spoke with the principal and thought we had agreed that I did not have to go to that class. An amazing deal! Yeah, should have gotten it in writing. At the end of the year I was given an ultimatum, write a 5-page book report or fail Hebrew school and not be able to continue in the steps of my sister and go to confirmation. We don’t need to go into why but I chose not to write the paper. I thought I was done with my Jewish life (not that I really cared at the time).
I had been doing Junior Youth group stuff and was really enjoying it, but what was next? Only the BEST thing in the universe, the thing that got me through high school. I found the only place where crazy, weird teenagers could come together and not stand out as crazy weird teenagers. My first NFTY event was the biggest of the year: Levi Leap. A huge dance with 200+ teenagers from all over New England, Upstate NY and CT. Almost 6 years later, some of the people I met there are among my closest friends. I was hooked. From then on I went to almost every NFTY event in New England. At the same time, I was attending BESTY events, my local Youth Group. Freshman year I went to all the events: The Celtics game, High Holiday services, the zoo and more.
The next year I felt I had to be more involved. I ran for board and became fundraising treasurer. I ran an event called BESTY bagel day and raised the most money we had ever raised. It was a very fulfilling event and despite the stress of it, I decided to stay on board through high school.
In 2003 I was chosen to go to the URJ Biennial in Minneapolis, Minnesota as a congregation student representative. It was absolutely amazing! This was the biennial where the UAHC changed to the URJ and the NFTY president at the time made an amazing speech that helped to convince everyone to vote for the URJ. I met so many amazing student leaders and adult leaders. It was incredible! The skyways in MN will always have a place in my heart. I came back from this and reported to my parents, that I finally “gotten” what they had been promoting in my life and understood their involvement in our synagogue and the Reform Movement.
After this life-changing event I continued going to NFTY events. My favorites were the week long retreats. We had programming every day written by peers but the best part for me, besides hanging out with my friends and the song sessions, were the services that happened every day. I always got something out of the peer led services. For some reason something just clicked and I actually appreciated being Jewish. Maybe that’s why I became BESTY Religious and Cultural Vice President my junior year.
I loved writing services and inspiring peoples' lives. I still love it which is why I ran almost all of the services on Carmel and almost all of the services for Hillel.
In February 2004, I along with nine others was nominated to be a PC, a prayer coordinator, for February Institute, the week long retreat for NFTY-NE. I finally got to write one of the services I had been admiring for 3 years, not only that but I got to write the opening service.
In 2004, I continued my journey and became President of BESTY. NFTY had always been such a huge part of my life and it truly helped me get through high school. By becoming president I wanted to help other teenagers truly understand the magic of NFTY.
In 2005, I attended the NFTY National Convention in Los Angeles. There were thousands of teenagers from all over the country as well as a few from Netzer. Imagine having a Shabbat service with thousands of youth all there for the same reason, to learn about reform Jewish life and meet others who share that.
As NFTY was coming to a close, I did not know what to do. NFTY was my niche, was my home. And now it was time for real life again, with no escapes.
Boy was I wrong! Three months after NFTY ended, after enrolling at the University of Vermont and deferring twice, I was on my way, on a full ride, to Israel. To the Carmel program that was in its second year. The night before and the minutes before I got on the plane were filled with cries and screams blaming my parents for sending me to Israel. To this day I still blame my parents, if it wasn’t for them and their support I wouldn’t have gone to Israel, I wouldn’t have had an amazing experience and I wouldn’t be who I am today.
That’s how amazing my year in Israel was. Something completely changed in me. My only connection to Israel was that my mom was born there and that I had family there. I didn’t really feel a strong connection at all to it. Israel just seemed like a hassle to me. In order to go to Israel I had to get an Israeli passport and Army Deferment papers and when I got there, I had to go in a special citizens line rather than with all the other people from my program.
Israel was amazing. I learned so much from my experience there. Over the course of my year I spent a lot of time exploring Israel. I hiked all over the North and went to the Lebanese Border. I went on a water hike near Kibbutz Ein Gev and lived there for a week. We lived in a big house with a lot of rooms but for some reason, we all slept together on the couches in the common room. I got to spend many days and weeks in Jerusalem exploring the New City as well as the Old City. One week we stayed in the Jerusalem Youth Hostel. It was right across the street from Ben Yehuda Street, the busiest place ever. It was always packed with visitors from all over the world. Our room had a balcony so that every night we could look our at Jerusalem and really feel the magic of the city. In that hostel we met people from all different backgrounds.
The most eye opening moment for me was when I met some boys from a Yeshiva in the Old City. Until that point I had never met an Orthodox Jew so this experience really taught me a lot. They explained what it means to be Shomer Shabbas and Shomer Negiyah as well as what they do in the Yeshiva. After that point I wanted to learn more about the different areas of Judaism to truly find my connection to Judaism. Later on in the year my program participated in a lot of discovery experiences. The motto of the Reform Movement was drilled into my head, “choice through knowledge”, and with these experiences I felt able to make the choices I wanted to based off of my own experiences rather than those of others. Israel really gives people that opportunity. To truly explore ones own beliefs and decide how to best fit them into ones own life.
If I could do anything over, it would be to take better advantage of this opportunity in Israel. To really experience everything, look at things with an open mind and then decide how it fits with my own life.
Perhaps the most meaningful experience was living on Kibbutz Lotan in the Arava Desert. There I learned the true meaning of Israel. This Kibbutz was formed by Israelis and Americans who wanted to make a difference. They created a beautiful oasis in the middle of a barren desert. One of the only socialist kibbutzim left, they work together, live together, pray together and share everything. An environmental Kibbutz based on Socialism, hard work and Reform Judaism. The entire kibbutz was built because of team work and was still growing. Imagine how rewarding it would feel to build the place you live out of nothing. That’s what the country is as a whole. It’s a country that was formed from little resources, hard work, and a love for the Jewish people. Being on this kibbutz made me truly feel the love for Israel.
In the future, I plan on going back to this kibbutz and doing a program they have called the Green Apprenticeship. There one would learn all about eco-tourism, sustainable living, alternative building methods and much more. The kibbutz has also inspired me to travel to Belize in the spring semester and put into practice what I learned. We traveled to Eilat, hiked all the surrounding mountains, went to the Jordanian and Egyptian Border, we explored everything. This was an amazing experience because just a few months before we had explored all the North.
I think it’s really important to explore Israel and not just the Jewish areas but the Arab and Druze as well. It really shows Israel as a whole and shows the importance of the country. Israel is a country of such a diverse background and it is immensely important to understand that. By exploring the country one can find out why Israel is the Israel of today. I truly feel like I understand the land; not just the people but the earth itself. The rock formations are so amazing that one could actually feel the history.
At the end of my first trip to Israel, my mother and friend from high school came to visit. We rented a car and drove from the top of Israel, Rosh Hanikra, to the bottom of Israel, Kibbutz Lotan. There we really felt like a part of Israeli culture. This experience was completely different than any I had had during the year. We stayed in hostels and had to work out gas money as well as bus scheduling to travel around. That’s right, my mother stayed in a hostel, and to top it off, they weren’t always very clean or nice. On this part of my trip I got to see much more of the country and can now say that I feel completely connected to Israel. I think driving around gives the country a whole new meaning, however, if you think New York drivers are bad, wait till you meet an Israeli taxi driver.
On this trip I got to go to all the forbidden places of my year course, including the Church of the Holy Seplicar, where Jesus was supposedly prepared, as well as the drive up the Green Line. It is really hard to say what the best experience was. One thing is certain, in the Old City, it is a must to walk the Ramparts. We walked around the entire Old City, through every quarter. It was amazing to see such a cohesive group in the midst of conflict. It really opened my eyes to the fact that maybe there is a way for this country to work together and be at peace.
I do have to mention though, the holiness of Israel. I went feeling no real Jewish connection and now, while I don’t know if that has necessarily changed, I do feel the holiness and spirituality of the country. While in T’veria there was a terrible fire outside our hotel. The fire wiped out basically the entire hillside of grass. Everyone in the hotel was crowded together in the lobbies, on their balconies or at their windows. No one knew how the fire would go out because the Kinneret was so close but there was no way to get that water to the fire and there was no other water. While watching this horrific scene our attention turned to a bunch of shrubbery a few feet down and in front of our balcony. All of the sudden a giant bush burst in to flames. Everything around it had already burned and was black but this bush burned brightly. My mother was the one that made the comment about the Burning Bush of Moses. This place truly was holy and this bush really reiterated that point. Soon after the bush burst into flames, the fire was put out. It was a miracle.
This year course experience led to me to a huge love and understanding of the country. When I returned to UVM all I could think and talk about was Israel. It’s kind of like an addiction. Once you go, you always want to go back. During the war in 2006, my life was on edge. I checked the news daily to see what was going on and frequently e-mailed the Israelis I knew. That’s also what Israel does, it brings people together. I checked and continue to check the Israeli news more than I check the United States newspapers.
When everyone was rallying together for the country after the war, I knew I had to go back. In December I went on a trip to repair the North. We painted bomb shelters with people who had just spent months in them as well as repaired the once beautiful forests that people would frolic in on Shabbat. I got to learn first hand about the war that summer, about what the Israelis had to go through and about the determination and love that Israelis have for each other. During the war, there were a group of Israelis that would courageously deliver food to the people in the bomb shelters. Imagine going out while huge bombs are falling over your head to bring a little joy to your fellow citizen. Also, there was an “Adopt-A-Northerner” program where people from the south took in people from the north for a few weeks. There were summer camps in the south for children in the North as well as an amazing thing called “Tent City” where one man created a huge tented area in Eilat for families to come for the duration of the war. No matter where people lived, they got together and helped.
I hope you can sense the love I feel for the land of Israel and its people. This love explains for me the purpose of my Jewish spiritual journey. The purpose of my journey is to help me establish a true connection to Judaism through Israel. I know that my spiritual journey is far from over. I trust that my years as a student at UVM and beyond will lead me to a new level of spiritual fulfillment. I hope that listening to my journey will be of some use to you in your spiritual journey.
L'shanah tovah tikatev v'taihatem. L'shanah tovah tikatevi v'taihatemi. May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year.
Thank you.
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