5768 D'var Torah
Sukkot
by Nina Goldberg, BAJC Member
It was about two years ago that I began learning about Judaism and studying Hebrew to begin preparations for a Bat Mitzvah. I am now 15, standing in front of a room full of people, declaring that I am dedicated, as well as honored to be a part of the world’s Jewish community. Thirteen is the age most Bat Mitzvahs take place, so why was mine so late? My mom was not brought up Jewish and my dad never forced or pushed me in this direction, but after seeing many cousins go through this meaningful process and more importantly after seeing my sister Anna succeed in leading a beautiful service when she was also older than thirteen, I decided why not? I was fortunate to find that my torah portion today reflects exactly why I am standing at the Bema, presenting myself to my family and friends as a Jewish woman.
In this Torah portion, we encounter our ancestors shortly after their exodus from Egypt, in the middle of the desert, complaining bitterly to Moses. Although they had been slaves in Egypt, their lives had not been unbearable – in fact they had been a lot more comfortable than they are now in the desert where the food is not great, the sun is blazing and sand is getting into everything. They are rapidly losing both hope and faith, and they ask Moses to show them this God who is supposedly so powerful, and so compassionate – to give them some physical proof of God’s existence.
So, Moses goes to God and asks God to reveal himself, to make himself known, but God replies that no person can see the face of God and live. God says instead that Moses can stand in the cleft of a rock in such a way that, as God passes, only God’s back will be visible, only God’s presence will be felt.
We all have felt from time to time the pain and the frustration that the Children of Israel were experiencing in the desert. But, I believe, most of us also have experienced what Moses experienced. We have seen God’s back and felt God’s presence. Life will always be challenging. If it’s not the food or the weather, then it will always be something else unsatisfying and displeasing. Always. Sometimes people get to points in their lives where the hard parts seem so unbearable and painful, that they feel there is no purpose, they question God’s presence just like the people of Israel did in the desert. Yet, right here, written in my Torah portion God says he will show his back and let his presence be felt. He does not walk around with a personality, a face and a name, but God can be felt. We experience the back of God through the peace we can feel when looking out at the ocean. God is the cool wind on our faces. The first flower in spring and the first colors of autumn. God’s presence is everywhere, ready for recognition and interpretation from anyone willing to open their heart and open their eyes. No matter what age, race, gender or religion we choose, the opportunity to discover the world’s magic is available to us. We have the choice to take advantage of every experience that offers any glimpse of God’s presence.
I believe that by having this Bat Mitzvah today and by studying so long and hard for it, I have created an experience where I can witness the back of God. 70 years ago Hitler and his followers attempted to wipe out the entire Jewish population, but were ultimately unsuccessful. Their evil effort did not harm our inspiration and faith, but strengthened it, because we now have stories to read about people like Anne Frank, who could see the good in people despite all the hatred existing in her world. Today I do not let the past bring me down, instead I look at the strength of a people who can see the back of God, find the love within themselves and the world around them to move on, learn and be strong.
I also believe that in having this Bat Mitzvah I am honoring and respecting the parts of family I love best. I am keeping our tradition alive by going through a process that so many people have done before me and therefore continuing this ancient tradition. I am having this Bat Mitzvah because I love the cherishing of family that is so much a part of Judaism and the Judaism that is so much a part of my family.
The inspiration I derive from my family and my people is huge. A people’s ability to overcome hatred with pride, as well as the honor of respecting my family’s tradition is plenty reason to have a Bat Mitzvah, but most of all it comes down to opening new possibilities. I studied, I cried, I laughed, I got exited and I got butterflies in my stomach (and still have some right now)…for what? To do more. To exceed all standards. To try something new, different and exiting. To experience spiritual living and God in a new way. I did it all to honor my Judaism now and claim it as my identity.
I wish I could thank every single person in this room for being here today, but the problem is, you have already been in this service for quite a long time, my speech has already been a few pages and thanking 70 people individually could take awhile. So I will publicly mention those of you who have provided me with so much strength, support and inspiration to stand up here today. First and foremost my dad deserves a big thanks. I could have never sat for hours on end struggling while trying to read Hebrew and these prayers by myself. I needed someone to take out my frustration on and whine at! You don’t choose to practice Judaism actively but yet you never questioned my desire or reasons for having this Bat Mitzvah. You always pushed me harder than I wanted to go and I thank you for that. Next I would like to thank my mom, simply for being here and for accepting my choice even though you choose to follow a different path. Claudia, coming to our house so many weekends to help clean and get ready not only saved my dad a lot of stress but me a lot of work! Thank you. Nonie, Zadie and Granny…part of my motivation for this Bat Mitzvah was so that you could see it as well as participate in it. I couldn’t even begin to explain how happy and grateful it makes me that you are all healthy and able to share in this event that you have helped to inspire. My Brother Micah, my sister Anna and my new sister addition Tiffany are three best friends on whom I can always rely. When it seems like my whole world is collapsing around me in a million pieces sometimes just a phone call to one of you can be the best medicine. Your positive attitudes, wise advice and uplifting humor are refreshingly helpful. Thank you for being such an important part of my life. To my aunts…the three of you are the womanliest women I know. (That’s a good thing) The three of you have different but wonderful gifts to bring to the world and knowing I have each of you to turn to, not to mention look up to is so comforting. Aunt Leslie, your values and roots lie within your family and your motherly, loving and upbeat attitude towards all people. I look up to you and respect you for that. Aunt Linda, your spunky inner chick connects with me in a special way. Laughing, talking and shopping with you is like hanging out with a big sister, an aunt and a best friend all at the same time. Thank you both for always being there for me. My aunt Ellyn cannot be here today and I want to especially send her my love and thanks for being such a sweet woman and a great person to talk to with a kind heart and an open, loving soul.
Finally I want to thank the people of this synagogue who have been so helpful throughout this process. Johnny Lee, you have a great outlook on life and have dedicated a huge amount of time to your students. You and Andy have been so kind and supportive the whole time. Jim, your expertise seems unlimited. You can help with just about anything and calmed me down every step of the way. Faith and Abe, I want you both to know what an important role you play as the parents of this community and how much your dedication to the congregation moves me. My gratitude goes out to everyone that read a torah portion today; I know getting up in front of people and reading from a torah with no vowels or punctuation marks was not easy for all of you. Lastly I want to thank my friends for being here with me and supporting me through this lengthy service.
Thank you to everyone in this room for being here. We come from different backgrounds, lifestyles and religions, but today we are all here to celebrate and honor what it means to take on a spiritual path in life and to the responsibilities this entails. We all have different political standpoints, different views on the war in Iraq, different views on the troubles between Israelis and Palestinians, different opinions on the world at large. But today none of this will separate us. Not even the disagreements of our personal pasts can separate us. Today we are here for the same reason, with the same purpose and something to celebrate.
Thank you. Amen.
|
