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I heard myself saying two things by way of response to this thoughtful and deeply committed person. First, a suggestion that she try – try her best to follow the commandment of Sh’mirat ha-Lashon, avoiding l’shon hara, the evil tongue.
Interestingly, a few days later, our B’nai Mitzvah class took on that mitzvah to explore for a week – a tough challenge but one with huge rewards. One of our contemporary sages has said that it would be difficult to imagine the beneficial effect on the world if each Individual A simply refused to say anything negative about Individual B to Individual C, before saying it directly to Individual B.
The Torah spells it out for us in Exodus (23) and Leviticus (19), saying no to tale bearing, to the initiation of false rumors, to insults, to grudges, to vengeance. But I often find myself going back to a prayer offered by the 19th century Polish rabbi Israel Kagan. Not a bad one with which to begin a day which is likely to be difficult:
Gracious and merciful God, help me to restrain myself from speaking or listening to derogatory, damaging or hostile speech. I will try not to engage in l’shon hara, either about individuals or about an entire group of people. I will strive not to say anything that contains falsehood, insincere flattery, scoffing, or elements of needless dispute, anger, arrogance, oppression, or embarrassment to others. Grant me the strength to say nothing unnecessary, so that all my actions and speech cultivate a love for Your creatures and for You.
The second response I heard myself offer was simply, “Practice kindness—chesed.”
I think often of the author Aldous Huxley who, on his deathbed, was asked if he had any regrets about his life. What would he have done differently if he had life to live over? Without pausing for an instant, Huxley replied, “I wish I could have been kinder.” “I wish I could have been kinder.”
Just these two take us a long way toward tikkun olam, don’t they
B'shalom,
Jim
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