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I have never felt that Judaism needs to be a competitor in population growth races. And yet I find these results very interesting. I also find it encouraging that they have been seized upon by Jewish community leaders in Boston to vindicate their efforts over the past decade to welcome and embrace interfaith families and to provide a hospitable climate for them.
The results also got me thinking - as we approach the Chanukah season – why is this happening? And one answer that comes to me loudly and clearly is that Judaism as we practice it at this time in America is so much about home and family.
- It's about rituals carried out within the family such as the lighting of Shabbat or Chanukah candles.
- It's about family gathering together for a Passover Seder.
- It's about bedtime prayers with the children.
- It's about B'nai Mitzvah kids going home on Monday evening, stimulated by the challenges of a Torah portion or by experiencing one of the mitzvot and brainstorming about it with the family over dinner.
- It's about the younger kids learning a new version of the Sh'ma with their friends, and wanting to sing it for their families.
- It's about the home rituals of mourning when we lose a loved one.
If indeed this is the case, I am confused by the efforts by the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism (USCJ) and even by our own Union of Reform Judaism (URJ) to step up efforts to convert non-Jewish spouses in such families.
With respect to non-Jewish spouses in interfaith households, the USCJ speaks of moving from kerov (to bring close; to welcome) to edud (urging). This edud initiative, the USCJ tells us, "must carefully craft a language that will encourage conversion."
Similarly, URJ President Rabbi Eric Yoffie (whom I have praised for other stances in earlier columns) wrote last year that the time has come "to reverse our message" and encourage conversion of such spouses.
Of course this "proactive conversion" posture by both the USCJ and the URJ stems from a concern with the survival of Judaism, a matter we do not take lightly and one touched upon by Rabbi Levine at our Dedication when he spoke about the unique challenge of American Judaism to remain vibrant and alive without the cohesion that results from persecution and discrimination.
And yet, I think "proactive conversion" misses the point – a point so well illustrated by our own congregation with such a large number of fully functional interfaith families, my own included. Our interfaith families know something about the relationship of Judaism and family. At the same time, these families know something about the importance of being part of a community like ours. These families actively participate, at least in part, because we're a congregation of kerov and not edud, and because we respect, involve, and actively celebrate - as we did on the Bimah on Yom Kippur - non-Jewish parents of our Hebrew School students.
Meanwhile our congregation will continue to provide safe opportunities to discuss the challenges facing interfaith families (e.g. isn't an interfaith family an opportunity unto itself for the practice of tikun olam and the provision of an active counterweight to religious divisiveness in the world today?), while we continue to provide a space where the riches of our heritage can be shared by all who are interested.
B'shalom,
Jim |
