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And yet . . . and yet, for me, it felt like almost a community, but not quite a community. A community that hasn’t quite clicked. Perhaps this is just my experience; perhaps other families are more in touch with one another, both at services and outside of synagogue. I certainly hope so. But it did strike me, looking at the children running and playing, that most of these children see each other at synagogue every couple of months, if that. What if Maya and Ella got to run around the synagogue with Sarah and Claire and Sam, Noa, Jonah and Eliya, Ava, Will and Carly, Louisa and Susanna, not every couple of months, but a couple of times a month? What if it were a regular part of the rhythm of the month for us, rather than a special event? When our friends all know each other, as well as knowing us, when our friendships form a web rather than spokes of a wheel, a certain magic is created. It creates a true community, one that is vastly more than the sum of its parts. What if the Jewish community was integral to the lives of our children, our families, our singles and seniors, our parents and teens? What if the Kabbalat Shabbat service, rather than being just one more thing on our overly-crowded calendars, was the thing we most looked forward to all week? What if we knew our children would play together, we would get to visit with our friends, and yes, have a moment of peace and harmony and perhaps even connection with the divine?
Ah, but there lies the problem. Children running around and playing create a wonderful energy, but that energy (and the accompanying noise level) is not conducive to quiet contemplation, meditation, and prayer. When I think about taking my children to services, I think with dread about the challenges of keeping Ella, a very voluble two year old, quiet during the prayers.
How can we have meaningful services, where adults and older children can pray from the heart, contemplate with the mind, and refresh the spirit, while allowing a true community, incorporating our young children, to flourish? I don’t know! I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences in other synagogues. Some synagogues have specially designated “family services.” Others accept a higher level of background noise and commotion. Do you have other suggestions?
Also, I can’t help but wonder . . . if all of our children regularly played together at synagogue, if they were comfortable with each other and the space, and if the adults knew other families’ children well enough to look out for them and to trust some of the older children to keep an eye on the younger ones . . . could our children come to services with us and play together, in and out of the services?
B’Shalom,
- Rachel
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